Becoming the woman you dream

aye6pqwbhhkze0gltd99ej4lwlusohzxtghmd46bylbeigdifbtjubqdt0egnriiFor most women it is difficult to realize their best potential in life. Much of whom they could have been is sacrificed for children, partners and their society. Sadly those whom they sacrifice life for, never stop to BE whom the envisaged because the world never stopped for anyone. At the end of their road women normally look back to a highway of “if onlys’.”

I have realised of late that there is no better time to do and be the woman you dream to be than NOW. Yes NOW is the right time even when you are faced with many hurdles, simply because life never offers a perfect time when everything is smooth and the universe is completely in agreement with your plans.

The easiest way to choose your path is to understand your personality first. It’s a very simple concept which other successful women have used. One such woman is Anne Kansiime, a Ugandan comedian who says “ One’s dream job is the kind of job is the one you do without a constant reminder that you are working.” Another woman who understands this is Oprah Winfrey who says “I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s unique as a fingerprint- and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you

Understanding your personality is about discovering what you love to do. What you love to do may be different from what others around you love to do. The more different it is, the more unique it is then the more YOU it is! More often than not we have more than one thing we love to do thus it is good to list these on a paper and study why and how we love to do the listed items. Having done this the next step is to rank them according to priority and start with the one that ranks best. An item will likely rank best because it provides the best starting point and pointers are normally based on one’s passion to take on a desired path, a perceived ability to overcome initial hurdles and an ability to deliver an initial product. If these pointers are identifiable then it is important to quickly draw up a time line, giving yourself the nearest deadline possible. Because we are procrastinating beings my first question would be “What can you do tomorrow?”

Having started on your things to do you need to remain aware of the challenges you may face simply because you are a woman. Being aware of these challenges is not meant to stop you from achieving your newly set goals but it is meant to help you map how you will succeed despite the gender based challenges. There are a myriad of challenges waiting to stop a woman from achieving her dreams ranging from her maternal instinct, wifely role to social perceptions on her ability to achieve. If your immediate hurdles are to do with your children, husband and immediate family then you need to sit down with them and explain that you are going to be taking on a new path. You are to put it as firmly and nicely as possible that you will do it anyway even if they think it is not the best time. If they are to do with the perception of society then at least you need to know that this is one place where you will not owe anyone an explanation so just do it!

Just do it is a tag line that brought success to Nike in the late 1980s when the company’s shares rose form 18% to 43% between 1988 and 1998. What you need to know is that if you never go on and just do YOU then you will never make it. Your slogan should be the same, your shares (confidence in your dream and product by family, friends and society) will rise and success will be guaranteed. Maintain that if you think of an idea just do it, whomever you want to see just do it, whatever you want to say just do it, what ever you want to wear just do it. The idea behind this tag line is that you experience greater freedom in your thinking and doing if you do not have to think twice about your decision all the time. I am not saying make bad decisions but if anything is good for whom you seek to be and is in line with the mission then it should be done promptly.

Always make sure that you drop your haters and  keep your supporters. Your haters are people who do not believe in what you seek to achieve and need to be kept in the dark about how you are going about your business.  If you choose to keep them then all they will do is show you how much you are likely to fail and kill all the hope and ambitions you ever had. Your supporters are those people who make your baby leap. They may be able to give you the best trade advice and if not they will be able to give you the best ‘life’ advice. Whatever they can give you will keep you going.

Most importantly know that you are your greatest supporter. You will do well if you keep a positive attitude about your self and where you are going. Do not expect an outsider to tell you how good you are, if you do not know it then whatever they say can never change your perspective about yourself. Even when things are going bad know that you only be as bad as you see yourself.

It is important to reflect on yourself a lot. The best lessons that life will give you are those that you will experience and the only way to pick your lessons is if you take time to reflect and notice. You will do well if you can identify what went well and what went bad plus identify where you need to make changes. People fail because they do the same thing all the time and in the end they wonder why they didn’t make it. Whilst external factors can influence how well you do it is important that you have greater control on your ability to make it in life and that ability is embedded in your personality traits including the ability to self criticize and happily correct mistakes.

Lastly let me remind you that you are the head and not the tail. Aim to be at the top of your game. Dress the best, deliver the best of your services and brand. A good looking girl who knows her game can never go unnoticed!



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